To Ric Hulshoff:
Are you the same Ric Hulshoff who served in Tokyo South Mission?

What a fantastic book!! Every once in a while I would not only forget where (and when?) I was, I would forget that I was actually reading rather than there (and then?) watching the story unfold. And not just spectacular storytelling, but jam packed with true and precious gospel principles told plainly and simply. I absolutely loved it.
Ric Hulshoff

Wow, what a great story! As good and powerful of a story as I have ever read. I laughed and felt the emotions of the people in the story. I was sucked into it so quickly and didn't want to stop until I had it all. The dialog was well done.

It brought to mind many things including the difficulty of someone from our time trying to describe the things present in our world to those who lived not long ago.

The story is great, the message profound.

So Dave, when did this experience happen to you? (I figure it surely must be a personal narrative because I've never read fiction that is so very vivid and moving.) I started reading it whenever I sent you that last e-mail, thinking I would scan the chapters quickly because I have almost no time. (Really I only offered in the first place because you're Joe's brother and I adore him and Diana. :-) Instead, I let everything I'm "supposed" to be doing go while I read every single word of what you sent . . . and then tracked down the rest on CTRstories. You never lost my interest (admiration, etc) for a single second, but I had a very difficult time finishing the story, what with the words being underwater and all. (I never cry over moving passages. Okay, almost never.) I do hate to gush (any more than I already have, I mean) but it's the best thing I've ever read in its genre, no exceptions.

What a great story. Thanks for completing it and sharing it with us all. I'm sure Annie would be proud of you, Wenlock.

Two Enthusiastic Thumbs Up!

I love this story so far. It has great desciptive words and an interesting plot. I'd have to agree with Melinda on her comment about the racquetball scene, but it does show the point that the ball can be anywhere and that it is very hard to follow. I am not sure if "dude" is the best word to use, if this story is in this time period. I do remember when Joseph and I would say it at least 50 times every day when we were little and living in the Ninja Turtle age. Perhaps a different word, like "dawg" or "bro". I think I like "bro" more, but it is completely up to the author to decide on this one.

I can't wait until the next chapter can be previewed. Thanks for the story!

-Mike

A great first chapter! I am already sucked into the story and can't wait to continue! I had to read through the racquetball descriptions a couple of times to really visualize what was happening. (Though I suppose it's not especially important for me to know where the ball is going, after reading through it a second time, it was kind of fun to really SEE the game.) Other than that, the chapter flowed very nicely for me. I especially enjoyed the "socking" and "dish duty" scenes, and the ego match at the end of the racquetball game really made me laugh.

Melinda