CTR Stories


Two of W. Dave Free's stories here on CTRstories have been published by Leatherwood Press and available through Deseret Book.

Get a copy and enjoy the edited version again. Then tell your friends!

Let us know when one of your CTRstories is published so we can share the good news!

User login

"...Choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices...Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable."
For The Strength of Youth

Recent comments

Who's new

  • edmondsk95503
  • rainingmist
  • Asher Caneilla
  • Neysel
  • C nyyl

Who's online

There are currently 0 users and 1 guest online.

Most Recent Stories
Little Miss Liberty
    Steven O'Dell
The Christmas Dog
    Steven O'Dell
Barnaby and the Zilligong
    Steven O'Dell
GodWorld
    Steven O'Dell
The Greatest Christmas Gift Ever
    Steven O'Dell


Most Recent Chapters
The Visitor--an inspirational short story series
    Ch. 58 -- On Wings of Angels
The Visitor--an inspirational short story series
    Ch. 61 The Music Within
The Visitor--an inspirational short story series
    Ch. 60 -- Lamb and Lyon
The Visitor--an inspirational short story series
    Ch. 59 I Hate Christmas
The Visitor--an inspirational short story series
    Ch. 44 The Wisdom of the Wise
 
Submitted by Steven ODell on 8 July 2007 - 12:52am.

Astounding Return

There is supposedly an ages old battle of the sexes. Quite often we all have a hard time understanding the opposite sex. As an example, when a woman looks at a catalog, she says, “These are nice dresses, don’t you think?” and Robert groans an assenting approval from behind his newspaper and all is well—for the time being.

When a man looks at a catalog, he says, “Wow! I need to get me one of these babies! 954 H.P. and 163,000 foot-pounds of torque! Man, Oh, Man!” and all the while he is drooling like a bulldog. She just stares at him and shakes her head in stunned and genuine disbelief. (By the way, not being the typical male, I barely grasp the idea of what foot-pounds are, let alone why they are to be so highly prized, so I wouldn’t be drooling at this point.)

Now, you ladies might think it’s entirely without hope that you will ever truly communicate with a man. Do not fret. There is actually more that you and he have in common than you might imagine. You just need to find that common ground, if you will. For this, you will need the right catalog.

Victoria’s Secret ought to do it. You’ll soon be asking him, “This is a cute little number, don’t you think?” And he’ll respond enthusiastically, “Yeah—and the lingerie ain’t bad, neither!”—again while drooling like a bulldog. Ladies, just remember that you are making progress—and progress is made a little at a time. Trust me, he will love you for it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, it’s been a fun walk. I’m tempted to say that this is the end, but knowing me, it’s just the beginning.
(Want to hear something REALLY scary? I‘m considering an audio version of this book. That should keep you awake at nights.)

Thanks for joining me! Let’s do it again sometime soon, shall we?

‘Til we meet again. God bless.

—Steve

Okay, here are a few freebies. Caution: They are really dumb.

What do you get when you dress up Elmer Fudd with a bandana around his head, two fully loaded cartridge bandoliers across his shoulders, a belt full of grenades and an M-16 rifle in his hands? ANSWER: Wambo.

Two men walk into a bar—the third one ducks.
Later, they all turned into a drug store.

» printer-friendly
 
Stories copyright by respective authors.
Stories licensed under the Creative Commons License.

Creative Commons License

Website copyright © 2013 Zeryn, Inc. All Rights Reserved.