I have a weird relationship with our apartment manager. Apparently his job description reads in total, “You will get free rent and collect checks from other poor suckers each month.” It is like pulling teeth to get him to take responsibility for anything around here, unless it is near his own building, right next door. I assume this falls within the imaginary crayon line that he has drawn to set the boundaries of his work duties.

When the power went out recently and everyone else in the neighborhood got it back except us, we called to inform him and his response was that we should personally call the local power company or have one of the other tenants look into it. WHAT?!!! I thought the manager was supposed to take the lead in this responsibility. I thought that to take things like this into my own hands would be to overstep my authority and perhaps assume liabilities I do not want. Silly me. Evidently we are enthusiastically encouraged to provide our own materials, tools and know-how to fix anything around here that needs repair. The concept is all so new to me that my head is still spinning from sheer delight.

I have developed a theory I am anxious to test, though. Next time I need him, I will call him and say something like the following:

“Hey, dude! Yeah, we’ve got an emergency over here. I think you’d better come quick, man. The flames are getting pretty high and I’m not sure I can contain them much longer. Oh, and by the way…bring a toilet plunger and a drain snake when you come, okay? Thanks, man.”

Whether this will work or not is up for debate, but it can’t be any worse than the present state of affairs.