CTR Stories


Two of W. Dave Free's stories here on CTRstories have been published by Leatherwood Press and available through Deseret Book.

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"...Choose only entertainment and media that uplift you. Good entertainment will help you to have good thoughts and make righteous choices...Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable."
For The Strength of Youth

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Submitted by natalie jamison on 21 February 2007 - 10:02am. |

Of the many story ideas I have come up with in the past few years, this story is actually the first that actually went through the writing process. I have had other individuals (whose oppinion I trusted) read what was complete in the past, and they liked it. So, I am ready to share it with others. I appreciate any and all critisizm, and I am excited to see what everybody thinks. Thank you!



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I like this beginning - very

I like this beginning - very captivating. I want to read the rest. Here are a couple of suggestions:
Trisa searched the whole of the park (delete of the)

Trisa noticed an awkward arched scare on the back of his hand as he replaced the tiny mechanism. (SCAR)

the door making (it is good to avoid ing verb endings – passive: door made.)

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I'm glad to see this story

I'm glad to see this story get posted...I have waited a long time for the rest of the chapters to come out. Ü

Keep 'em coming, Natalie!

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Wow, this is quick at

Wow, this is quick at grabbing your attention and your curiosity. Looking forward to the next chapter.

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Melinda likes it, so I

Melinda likes it, so I figure it's not all that bad. :)

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It's definitely "not all

It's definitely "not all that bad"...it's GREAT and I can't wait to find out what happens next!

I pulled out my old copy of the first several chapters (by the way I noticed you have made several edits since then -- good job!) last night and Becca is planning to read it again this weekend.

Looking forward to reading more,

Melinda

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